If I asked you, “are you happy?”, how would you answer? Would you simply say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or would you respond with a question of your own? Perhaps, you’d ask back, “Happy right this minute, or all the time?”
Right this minute, one might feel happy — especially while reading such a thought-provoking blog post! (kidding) 😉 But when you reflect on a larger span of time – a day or a month, the answer would likely change.
Perhaps we need to first define happiness. We need to decide if it’s an emotion or a state of being. The dictionary would say it’s a ‘state of being’, but I’m not so sure. Emotions come and go, but I imagine a state of being is like our homeostasis. It’s who we are at our core, and while we can alter it slightly through repetition, it is difficult to change.
So let’s pretend for a moment happiness is NOT a state of being, but instead just a temporary emotion. How would you measure overall happiness? Is it the sum of many happy moments? Do enough happy moments in a span of time add up to a ‘happy person’? Or is it a balance of happy vs sad, bad, and neutral moments?
And while we’re thinking mathematically, perhaps life starts smack dab on zero, with +infinity happiness in one direction, and –infinity happiness in the other. And every action nudges us in a direction on the endless measuring stick of happiness. One tough year full of ‘bad moments’ could really throw off where we land. How do you dig your way out of that?
And what happens if you’re a ‘naturally happy or positive person’? One might call you optimistic. If you lean optimistic, does your imaginary measuring stick lean positive too – making every happy moment ‘worth more’? What if you’re pessimistic?
I ask all of these questions because the world seems to be obsessed with finding and maintaining happiness, and I don’t agree with it. I believe in contentment instead. One might argue they are one in the same, but it’s all about perspective. If you strive for contentment – balance – instead of the high of happiness, you free your mind to focus on living a more meaningful life, not a life in pursuit.
Let me explain: when every day – every thought – is centered around what you THINK will bring happiness, you’ll quickly find that it’s never enough. This is because after having a happy moment, our brains must come back down to our homeostasis (our natural state of being). If we trick our brains over and over that these temporary ‘happy moments’ (such as eating at a restaurant, getting new furniture or clothes, or vacationing), are how we’re always supposed to feel, then coming back to our homeostasis may begin to feel like a loss… Thus triggering us to pursue MORE feelings of happiness.
This wouldn’t be so bad, if not for three things:
The pursuit of happiness is expensive, time-consuming, and exhausting. That’s right, I said it. Money can buy TEMPORARY happiness. And after depleting our funds and energy in pursuit of this feeling, you will always come back ‘down’ to your natural state.
THIS is why I believe we should seek contentment. If we are content with ourselves and able to accept who we are while in our natural state of being, we will have more time, money, and energy to live and experience life, in both its delightful and inglorious moments. It doesn’t mean we can’t have goals for a better or different lifestyle, but it’s important to find acceptance and contentment no matter your situation. Even if you have nothing, you can enjoy a sunrise. Even if you have no one, you can partake in conversation with a stranger.
So look around, breath the air, listen, and dig in your heart for something to be grateful for. That is contentment. Embrace it, and you’ll never have to pursue happiness again.
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7 comments
This was the post that gave me a kick in the rear to get back to work. As a full time student, I often find myself working late into the evening (11pm+), when in reality I could head ho,e hours earlier if I didn’t procrastinate by scrolling through Reddit, Tumblr, etc. I’m very going to be happy on the internet, it just wastes time. I know that the happiest part of my day is coming home to my partner, so by wasting my time at the library I’m just cheating myself of a fun, stress-free evening.
Quite true that we don’t need to find happiness. To be content with what we have. To express gratitude for what we have is enough. To express joy that your life has the abundance it has, in multitudes, is enough. To try to pursue happiness is like chasing after the red balloon in Good Night Moon – you’ll never get to it and only go back to what you have, feeling like you failed. I try, and fail quite often at expressing joy each night for what I have LOL. But do remember some nights to tell my husband I love him and that I’m so incredibly grateful for him and all that we have. Always tell my daughters every day how much I love them and remind them daily I’m grateful for their presence in my life 🙂
My sort of answer post to your post 🙂 http://www.deborahstaneland.net/2018/04/27/happiness-vs-contentment/
Great advice
For some people finding happiness can take a lot of effort, but don’t give up. Pursuing happiness is human nature, being content is not, you’d be fighting a losing battle. Happiness rides the wave, contentment stays at home and watches it on tv.
I Agree and put more emphasis on being grateful, I believe being grateful, appreciating the everyday blessings and sharing with those you love and love you back is my recipe for finding happiness and being content. Once you start seeing the light, you automatically start seeing the world and those in it differently. You become at peace with your life and feel lighter with this new perspective.
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